In the Eye of the Beholder
by iloveaxel
Summary: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but after so much time Axel's starting to believe no one would ever love him. He's... disgusting and would be forever seen that way, right; that's what he believes until a cute little blonde shatters his perspective
1. Chapter 1

Hi, well I just thought this would be interesting to write, also, my other story WILL be updated this week. I am sorry about that, my mother has been terribly sick for the past 3 weeks and I've been helping taking care of her

*LINE*

Axel sat on the edge of the bathtub; looking at his long legs in disgust, for what other way could he see his body in anyways? He stared at his legs, he felt hypnotized by the sight of them something he couldn't help himself by looking at no matter how much he was repulsed. They were welted up from the itching and the sweat. He let the hot water run over them, he was in some helpless mindset that maybe the searing heat would contribute to helping him. The redhead grabbed the soap that was in its rightful place in the corner of the linoleum tub and started scrubbing his legs. His teeth started grinding as he rubbed his palms up and down, feeling rough and uneven skin under them. He tried his hardest not to think about how much of a failure he was. He honest to God tried to stay confident that this would all be gone soon, but to be honest, how much hope could a person have after having this for so long. Hadn't he promised himself he would have enough will power to change all this by the time he was 18? He could see himself as a 7 year old now, telling his doctor that he'd stick with this and that by the time he was in middle school he'd have smooth and pale skin. He gave a bitter laugh into the unforgiving air that was accumulating in the bathroom, oh how every time his goal wasn't achieved he'd just push it back again… and again…. and again.

He had no one to blame but himself. The doctor had said that if Axel would just take better care of himself this would all go away. He tried, honestly he did, but it just wouldn't work when he'd be stressed out all the time. And he just couldn't help himself when he got depressed. He was a slave to the urge every time he got made fun of, was given a weird a look, or someone put him in the center of attention when they felt bad for him. That's the thing he hated most, when 'nice people' tried to give him pity. He didn't need it, besides there were people toughing it worse than he was. He twitched at this, his right shoulder moving up a bit and his whole body becoming crooked as some part leaned a one way before relaxing again and falling into the position it was before. This sort of thing happened when he had a thought that bothered him. Normally it reminded him of some sort of flaw he saw in himself. In this particular case he felt crappy because he had no right to sit here on the bathtub and feel bad for himself as there were people out there in worse condition. He tried not to let the though linger as he grabbed the towel, dried his legs, and pulled on clothes for the lower half of his body.

The green-eyed boy pulled out the Eucerin cream that was used for the dry skin that he was fostering. After doing so he applied a fresh coat on his arms, torso, and anywhere else where the blotches and broken skins were. He also applied a little bit to his cheek bones as he looked into the mirror; it seemed he was a little broke out there. As he stood examining his face he smiled sadly, thinking of the tattoos he planned to get one day when his body was completely healed. Two triangles just below his eyes, it was something he'd always wanted. He now fought back tears, so many of the things he wanted to do have been on hold all for this. He's missed out on so many events all because of this; I mean how could you ever feel comfortable when you look like this? No, he just preferred to stay at home and play video games by himself. What's better than saving Hyrule anyway?

He flopped on his bed and growled at the gooey feeling that came with the interaction of his creamed up body and the sheets. He couldn't stand this for too much longer, he just couldn't deal with this. He couldn't handle the loneliness, depression, or low self esteem that he harbored because of it. He felt a pang at the word loneliness. Would he be like this once he was finally out of high school? Would he really graduate without having one other person in a non-platonic relationship? Sure he had Demyx and Larxene; but they were only friends, they couldn't compare to the feeling of having someone by your side that puts you before everyone else, that someone who you enjoy being around no matter what y'all are doing , someone who stays with you and is willing to work out any problems so you'll be theirs forever. This made Axel want to throw something at the wall in front of him. He didn't though because he didn't want his parents to worry, so he just settled for throwing the sealed tub of Eucerin against the floor, hard. It made a boom sound and it wasn't long before Axel's sister, Kairi, came up to the door and softly knocked.

She spoke gently, she was scared to upset the already angry boy, "Axel, are you alright?"

He just sighed softly at the ground, "I'm fine, Kai, promise."

She nodded only to realize Axel couldn't see her, "Oh ok, by the way, I'm going to walk to the park okay? Sora, Riku, possibly Roxas, and Yours Truly will be hanging out, be sure to tell Mom if she asks where I am."

Axel shot up instantly, pulling on a black hoodie that complimented the black pants he was also sporting, "Kairi, there is no way in hell I am letting you walk to the park by yourself."

Kairi groaned loudly, "Y'know I am 14! I can walk to the park by myself and hang out with some friends!"

Axel smirked and opened the door, staring down at his younger sister, "Not as long as I'm your brother you won't."

She playfully hissed at him. All grew silent though as they walked out the front door, Axel made sure to keep his face glued to the ground in an attempt to not get people to look at his face that had gotten a little bit better but was broken out none the less.

*LINE*

Ok well this should be interesting. Yeah Idk I just felt like making Roxas younger than Axel in this one. I also decided to make Axel the one that needs some TLC instead of Roxas, thought it would be interesting. Review please, if I get some I'll be motivated cause right now I'm really just testing the waters with this one.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for all the reviews! I'm glad you like it! My other story will be updated sometime between now-late night tomorrow

He sighed quietly under his hood, he was such a coward, scared of the world and just waiting for someone to come and show him it wasn't all that bad… if that person would ever come. If that person even existed. He shook his head feeling the fabric weigh his movements down a little bit. He walked at a slow pace beside his sister, it didn't matter though, the girl didn't mind.

Kairi messed with her fingers as she tried her best not to draw any attention to herself and Axel. She loved her brother so much. It ate away at her to see the state he was in. All she had ever wanted was for him to be happy. She wished she had been the one born with the wretched allergies and skin issues. Her brother was singled out in the entire family; no one else had the allergies, Eczema, or asthma that plagued Axel throughout his life. She hated the way she could sometimes hear him crying from his room. The sounds of despair would make her want to cry too; sometimes she did. That's her brother, her own flesh and blood. And she can't do anything for him because she can't control his health. All she can do is just try to be a great sister to him, helping him if he needed it. Of course that never happened though. He acted so strong, acted like all of this was no big deal. That he wasn't in so much pain. She felt terrible whenever they had dinner and he would end up eating something different because of his dietary restrictions. She hated how helpless she felt. How she had to stand there on the sidelines and watch as Axel's self esteem fell slowly. How she has tried to get him to talk but he just wouldn't and would blow it off with some off handed comment that attempted to change the subject. How in his years of high school he hasn't once gone to a dance. How he's never had a friend. How he's locked in his room constantly and never leaves unless it's to go in the game room, "To save Princess Zelda, got it memorized?" as he would say a lot. This wasn't fair! It wasn't fair the way he lived feeling like he was worthless cause of how he looked. She felt like crying once more.

She was okay though. She let out a laugh, what a loser she was. Her brother was there; the one with all the problems and she was just about to break down. Ha. It was sort of ironic really, how stupid of her. She really tried to be a good sister. She hoped her efforts weren't completely fruitless. She hoped maybe something that she did made Axel's life a little bit more bearable… somehow.

Axel kept his hood over his head, creating a shadow over his face as he looked down at the cold, hard, solid ground. He glanced at Kairi as much as he could from beneath the cover; she was staring ahead with a gloomy look on her face. A soft frown was bestowed upon her with eyes that held the expression of sadness. He could see her petite fingers fumbling together as she was in what looked like an unpleasant deep thought. Axel didn't say anything about it though. He didn't really have a right to. He wasn't a good brother to Kairi. She had reached out to him countless times, trying to get him to talk about his issues, but he had just tried to be cool and collected and would make some smart comment. He did play his role as overprotective though; this made him smile proudly under his barrier from the world. He always made sure to drop Kairi off at school instead of letting her walk alone. He always tells all of her guy friends (without her consent, mind you) to protect her and not to do anything stupid or bodily harm will be in their near future. It's funny, he can remember when he told Sora this when he and Kairi had first become friends. The kid flipped and rambled very loudly about how he promised he wouldn't let anything happen to her and that he didn't want certain parts of his body gone when he woke up in the morning. Axel wanted to laugh at the memory but suppressed it; he definitely did not need any unnecessary attention. He pulled the front of his hood up a little and saw that they were close to the park entrance. He saw Riku and Sora arguing about something while standing in front of the monkey bars. At least that's what it looked like with them both flailing their arms around and talking at a particularly large volume that was just too soft to hear what they were actually saying but loud enough to know what they were talking very passionately about whatever it was. Then as his eyes drifted over the park that was unoccupied and he saw a blonde boy. He was sitting on the swing and was staring at Sora and Riku in annoyance, or at least it looked like annoyance, one could only be so observant from a distance. Axel studied the boy as they got to the entrance, he must be the guy Kairi said might come with them. Axel thought a second trying to remember the name she gave him; it had started with an R, hadn't it? Eh, he'll just learn it when he gives the boy the 'Bodily Harm' talk. He looked him over, sizing em' up silently. He looked pretty short for his age, maybe he was a little younger than them? The way he looked from a far, he kind of resembled Sora. The way he carried himself though, it wasn't loud and sweet like Sora was. This kid looked like the quiet type. He had nice blue eyes though. The boy covered his eyes as he looked up at the sky, seeming fascinated with it, this made the eyes take on a darker shade than they really were. Axel looked at the boy's skin, it was creamy and most likely smooth to the touch. He envied him. How lucky, to have someone be able to look at you without disgust and maybe even want touch you. The redhead could only dream of that.

"Axel! What are you doing? You gonna say hi or are you going home already?"

Oh, he could stay; he needed to talk to the other kid. He knew he wasn't a good brother, he could pretend like he was though, ne?

I'm sorry I know this is short! I might update this one again in the middle of the week, if I have time. I'm still trying to get the hang of having 2 stories up and running on here. The update will be the normal amount of around 2,000 words like normal.


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